Welcome

[09.12.22 21:00 GMT+1]

about relationship anarchy

everytime i have a crush on someone, i feel like i learn more about love. i noticed, how i love everyone differently and i started noticing how my attraction towards people becomes harder to define in terms of "this is a person i am romantically/sexually attracted to" and "this is 'just' a friend". sometimes this excites me and sometimes it scares me a bit, to not be able to put my relationships in a box anymore. it's like when you identify yourself with a certain role in a fixed type of relationship, you don't have to decide for yourself what you want.

[04.12.22 22:55 GMT+1]

acid

I was tripping again and I drew this. Haven't drawn anything this meaningful to me for like over a year. PLS open pic in new tab, I know the trnsparency is making this impossible to look at. The message of it is: Be a queer fucking queen and love your body bc life is nice and LSD is too. LOVE

[17.10.22 22:00 GMT+1]

Shrooms + The Sims

The other day me and my friend ate some shrooms (idk the specific type) and it was rly good. Never did hallucinogens inside like in a calm setting. We listened to this album by The Smile like 3 or 4 times. It was a really interesting trip and I feel like a certain calm feeling has persisted in the last few days.
Today I wanted to play The Sims but it kinda sucked because I didnt have a functioning computer mouse and then when I was playing it I realised that real life is kinda more interesting and more HD. Bummer, I miss the times where I was so uninterested in the real world, I could play The Sims for 10hours a day. JK. I'm just gonna chill out Big Time tonight and maybe even do some Yogi or meditation. If I feel capable of confronting my feelings today that is.

[18.10.22 22:30 GMT+1]

Summer Holiday Recap

After quite a break I finally updated my website again! Here's a not-so-bief summary of what I've been up to. Motivated by the huge discount on the Interrail Pass this year and due to some peer pressure by my roommates I decided to spend a month of the summer travelling through europe. After all, that's what most people could only dream for, right? Something about travel culture and tourism really bugged me but I figured I can't judge unless I try it out.
At first I travelled to Italy with a friend. That vacation was totally chaotic bc we hadn't really planned ahead. They didn't have an Interrail Pass, so we tried hitchhiking and failed miserably. We decided to take the train to Trieste instead. It's a really beautiful city but sooo touristy and overall I find that to be really alienating about places. Also I don't have cash for fancy restaurants or hotels so we ended up wildcamping out of town, drinking 2€ whine at the peer and illegally using the showers at the beach to wash ourselves. During our stay in Italy we didn't really talk to anyone apart from this friendly but covid-denying lady at the beach.
Took us only 2 days to get to Ljubljana (100km lol) because again we wanted to hitchhike but failed and ended up going by train. We managed to somehow meet some locals by asking just the right people about where the cultural centre was. They were two 17yo anarchists and it was seriously so sweet hanging out with them bc it's just too weird to be in your tourist bubble living in a hostel and visiting 2nd hand shops and only talking to other tourists. But talking to locals is also a bit humbling I find bc those people told us basically how in their country everything sucks, you can't get prosperous jobs, the majority of people are sexist and homophobic and nazis from other countrys come as tourists and put stickers with swastikas up at the train station.
It was so nice travelling with my friend but it's also crazy to go and have vacation in a place that you wouldn't want to live in unless you're crazy priviledged. I'm gonna put the rest of this up another time, this was only like 1/4th lol

[28.06.22 12:42 GMT+1]

So I tried to download graphics from tumblr and... failed?

Maybe I'm not the only one with this issue so I will explain what was going on and how I solved the problem for now.

So I found a nice gif on tumblr and right-clicked it to download but it showed up in my files as a .webp, which is a format I couldnt open. I thought this was because tumblr is making it harder for people to just download any of the content. I first noticed this with audios but I just went into the source code and downloaded them there. I thought I had to do the same for the gifs and png's I found, so I did that. All I found there were some .gifv's and pnj's. I don't know what those are supposed to be either and I got really frustrated. Another problem was that with all the gifs and images I got, they lost their transparency.

I decided to find out wtf webp even is supposed to be and found out its a format developed by google to compress JPEG PNG and GIF files. All modern browsers support this format but apparenty my graphics software doesn't. Here is some webp images and it works just fine with a modern browser:

I think I want my site to be downward-compatible, like you should be able to use it with your grandmas old desktop or if you're a time traveller from the late 90s. I found this browser extention to download the actual .gif/.png files and not have to rely on those other sketchy formats. There isn't much on my site anyway, so what do I need data compression for?

credit for the nds: lowpolyparrot.tumblr.com

[27.06.22 20:55 GMT+1]

theres a list of books now

I'm pretty happy with how my page looks so far but I think I want to start adding some content. Everything pretty boring so far. been procrastinating studying the whole day and feel kinda shit about it. theres a massive heatwave going on right now and the fact that i'm not leaving the house isn't helping my mental health. many of the thoughts i write down end up in my journal i keep. I have some thoughts about relationships/polyamory i might put on here. I suck at writing but its a topic dear to me. I want this site to be full of things I love at some point, similar to the journals I keep but a bit less private. I also want to make a "ressources" page, in case anyone is wondering where I got all the nice page decor from. (spoiler it's deviant art) I'm kind of surprised by the aestetic I ended up with. This place was very cute-sy in the beginning and now its looking freeeesh. I'm having a massive techno-phase and I'm feeling it :D

[22.06.22 15:10 GMT+1]

scelettonis are working now

Having slept a bit really worked wonders. Wasnt that hard @ all. Only that I made everything even less barrier-free. Thinking about making a birthday-card for a friend on here. But then they know my site?? Its like when youre IRL friend finds your tumblr.

[21.06.22 23:30 GMT+1]

New Theme Whoohoo

In the last few days I got around to fiddling with my website again. My roommate has covid so all of us went in quarantine. There was also this big-ass heatwave that revived my long-forgotten climate anxiety. whoohooo. But working on my site was big fun, at least until I actually tried to figure out something new. I want to make a switch so you can chose between the old theme and this new one and possible one that would be more barrier-free. (Easier-to-read-font, black on white, no moving background...) I also tried to put a .gif [d͜ʒɪf] of 2 cute scelettonis next to the header but I failed?? But I got my stamps to work? I dont get it :/ Trying again tomorrow :)

Content-wise I want to start off by giving a few ressources as to how to get things for free on the web. Like piracy 101 allthough I'm not exactly an expert myself, I know theres some people who spend a fortune on services you can easily get for free on the web.

[25.05.22 01:19GMT+1]

thanks for stopping by! *ура*

для тебя :)

If you like this page: good for you! just finished and it took me 2 days to do so, rly proud :D Theres more to come but I dont really know what yet. I have 100000 ideas so we'll see which ones i'll follow through with. So far my page has a really soft/girly aesthetic but thats partially because those kind of graphics were easier to find than what I was looking for. Still cute though :))

Short input about how I got here:

I stumbled upon digdeeper.neocities.org's darknet blog while browsing in tor and they linked to sadness' blog. At first I thought these two were isolated blogs and didnt even know neocities existed. IRL I dont have a lot of friends who are also interested in tech-i topics and reading through her page felt really good.

I've been interested in the old web for a while now. My parents used to have their own website and my mother was a freelance webdesigner, back when websites were made by hand. My first computer had Linux and I cant imagine anything else at this point.